Love and Marriage in Transition

In ancient Korea girls and women were kept inside the house away from all contact with males other than family members, and even that was often minimal.  Marriages were arranged by families and matchmakers.  They were essentially political unions to promote the economic and social status of the families involved.  The bride was no more than a pawn on a chess board.  She typically  did not even see her husband until after the ceremony when they were expected to consummate the marriage, often with family waiting patiently outside their room for proof.

I attended a traditional Korean marriage ceremony when I was in the Peace Corps in the 1970s.  In that particular case the marriage had been arranged, but I believe the couple had met once prior to the ceremony.  The day was full of rituals including a number of large meals at both the bride and the grooms respective homes.  The ceremony itself was quite traditional, complete with symbols such as rice, chicken, dried fish, and wooden ducks.  The ducks are a gift from the grooms best friend symbolizing fidelity.  The bride was brought out by male family members to be presented to the groom.  Throughout the ceremony her face was covered by extensions of her sleeves, held high to cover her face.  At the end of the ceremony she lowered her arms and the bride and groom shared a toast.
After the ceremony and a third feast, the bride and groom retired to a room in the house while the wedding party Waited.

Around the same time I met a young woman who came to me to learn English before traveling to the United States to join her husband.  This young woman was a dancer who had been part of the national ballet.  Her family was progressive enough to allow her some choice in marriage partners, but was quite insistent that she marry, despite the fact that she was quite happy with her life as it was.  Her family arranged a number of meetings with potential mates.  She refused them all.  The pressure  mounted and she finally agreed to marry a young man who was home from studying in the United  States.  He was quite possibly under equal pressure to marry.  My friend compared her honeymoon to typhoid fever as the two worst events of her life.  After her husband returned to the United States she was in no hurry to join him, but finally caved to pressure from her family to learn English in preparation for her upcoming life in America.  I later found her in Colorado and watcher her transition from a frightened immigrant who refused to answer her door to a competent professional with a masters degree from a U.S. university.  The marriage also blossomed after a difficult start.

Marriage practices in Korea continue to evolve.  A popular Korean TV drama follows several young people as they struggle with relationships.  By U.S. standards their struggles are tame, but this is a new playing field for Korean youth.  In the drama, the jilted suitor cozies up to the girl's mother hoping that pressure from mom will work in his favor.  Meanwhile the object of his affection has obviously fallen in love with someone else.  He is also enamored with her, but the two continue to maneuver around each other with smiles and small talk, unable to break the impasse

In real world Korea, despite a loosening up on dating, premarital sex is not acceptable and babies of unwed mothers are abandoned to orphanages.  Single moms are ostracized by society.  A recent article cited the low birth rate in Korea as a major problem related to inability of Korean youth to date or otherwise find a life partner.  The transition in marriage practices, like any major change, is a painful one wrought with issues that must be gradually resolved in keeping with the cultural values of this society within a larger global community.

Frisbee Diplomacy

Young Pioneer Tours is one of the few companies taking tourists into the northern part of North Korea.  This part of the country is less developed than the area around Pyongyang and, perhaps, gives a more realistic view of life in North Korea where farming is done with hand tools and the roads are unpaved.  One tour participant was surprised by the number of ox carts she saw from the window of their tour bus so she started counting.  She stopped when she got to 200. Apparently the ox cart is still the major form of transportation in this area, much as it was in rural South Korea in the 1950s.

One of the major disappoints for the group was their prohibition from interacting with the citizens of the region.  One large Australian man was particularly upset with this policy and even had a few words with the North Korean guides to no avail.

One of the attractions for the guests was a visit to a spa.  As the others entered the spa the large Aussie held back.  Soon there was a regular ruckus outside the spa that brought the tourists outside to investigate.  To their surprise their Aussie friend and the entire local villager were engaged in a rousing game of frisbee while the North Korean guides looked on in dismay.  At the conclusion of the game the Aussie approached a man who seemed to be a village leader, bowed politely, and presented the frisbee.  A moment the villagers, no doubt, will be talking about for awhile.

There is a saying in India, "do what you can with what you have".  Not too far from that village, on the Chinese side of the border, an 80 year-old South Korean minister and his wife run a small farm.  Rev. Han has written several books on sustainable agriculture.  He welcomes North Koreans who can travel to China to visit his farm and learn how to build warm shelters out of readily available inexpensive materials and how to grow small sustainable gardens in the harsh climate of northern Korea.  His belief is that relief from the hunger in North Korea must come from within.  Outside aid is not a sustainable solution.

My own interest in the division of Korea started at an early age.  My family came to Korea in 1955, just two years after the end of the Korean War.  Here is an excerpt from my book that explains my introduction to the issue:

"Shortly after our arrival in Korea in 1955, my father heard of a Christian woman who had been imprisoned as a communist sympathizer.  Her husband, as far as anyone knew, was in North Korea.  She had collaborated with the North Koreans during the war in order to save her family.  After the war that same family turned her in to the authorities.  Abandoned by her family and barely able to walk because of the torture she had endured during her imprisonment.  Kimsi was released from prison into my father's custody.  Although Kimsi was employed as a domestic helper, a common practice so that missionary women could participate in the work of the mission, she became a part of our family and remained with us until we left Korea (1967).  She was my mother's right arm and a second mother to us children."

In more recent years I have followed events in North Korea in the news as well as through reports from former missionaries who have visited North Korea and worked for reunification in Korea.  One group that visits Korea on a regular basis to provide medical and nutritional support is Christian Friends of Korea.  Their website is: cfk.org

Helping Hands Korea is an organization that helps North Korean Refugees : www.helpinghandskorea.org/

The tour group is:  www.youngpioneertours.com/

If you are interested in my book about acculturation and the Korea missionary experience you can find it at: www.kirkhouse.com/Books/An_Intricate_Tapestry

Remember to do what you can with what you have

Reflections

Today marks the beginning of my last week in Korea.  It is time to gather my impressions and reflect on the trip.  I have somewhat of a unique perspective as I grew up in Korea during the 1950s and 60s then returned in the Peace Corps in the early 70s.  I was away from Korea for 37 years after that.

Returning now, in the 21st century, is like stepping out of a time machine into the future.   Gone are the mud brick thatched roofed dwellings of my childhood, replaced by high rise apartment buildings reminiscent of a scene from "A Bee's Life".  The ox carts on the dusty roads replaced by networks of subways where droves of women in short shorts and heels and men who stepped off the pages of Esquire Magazine find their personal space in the crowd by never lifting their eyes from the cell phones in their hands.  Not once, since I have been here, has a stranger asked me how much I weigh or any of the other 20 or so personal questions that were daily fare during my Peace Corps days.

We used to travel across the country to Imshil to buy cheese from the Belgium priest there.  There was no where else to it.  Foreigners had trouble finding familiar foods.  Now you can stop at Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, Baskin Robbins or KFC for your familiar food items.  You can even have McDonald's deliver.

But Korea goes much deeper than the glitzy exterior of K-Pop and plastic surgery.  A German friend compared Korea to Germany as two nations that came out of devastating wars and a troubled past to rise to the top in economic and social development.  While Germany has a past of shame to overcome, Korea was the exploited nation.  Both fought to overcome their history through hard work and dedication.  The Korean work ethic and desire to succeed are hard to match.  Children often go  from school to a private educational institution, or hogwan, then on to a music lesson or athletic  training session before returning home for dinner followed by homework.  The industrial revolution in Korea is often credited with the nation's current power status, but it was a hard and brutal revolution built on the bent backs and busy hand of young girls in sweat shops.  The human price was high.  It is still high.  Work and school stress is enormous.  Migrant workers from poorer countries often work 16 hour days seven days a week in sweatshop conditions.

There is a very humanitarian side to Korean society.  The religious groups are active in charity and social justice work.  Korean Protestant churches send more missionaries around the world than churches in just about any other country.    Others fulfill their mission at home.  One friend is minister to a small church in Inchon that serves many immigrant families.  I recently was with her when a group of Korean nationals from Uzbekistan had a day off from work and needed help navigating Seoul.  We ended up taking them to a local amusement park for the evening.  Nothing like an amusement park to light up the eyes of a child.  My friend's mother, a physician, started a clinic  for migrant workers that has ballooned into a variety of services including a shelter and a school.

We visited Catholic activists on Jeju-do and learned of their opposition and efforts to help local residents stop the construction of a new Navy base.  They are protesting on a combination of environmental and social justice or anti-military escalation issues.  I also visited a Catholic hospital in Seoul that is linked to an orphanage, a homeless shelter, and a home for disabled citizens.  The hospital serves all uninsured and otherwise needy individuals who would have difficulty receiving or paying for services elsewhere.

The Buddhist in Korea are also proponents of social and environmental justice.  What has been interesting to me, and this is only from my own limited observations, is that there seems to be little cooperation amongst the various religions even though their aims are similar, if not the same.

If social media is a reflection of culture than no reflection would be complete without attention
to television, Facebook, etc.  While my Korean is not always up to catching all the dialogue on TV I can make a few observations.  The issues related to prejudice, particularly towards individuals of mixed race, is often front and center in the media, but in a subtle way.  There is a morning reality series that follows several mixed families in thePhilippines.  The program highlights the joys and struggles, particularly of the Korean spouses, but in general has a very positive tone.  A recent Korean movie tells the story of a half-Filipino boy with an amazing talent as he competes in a Korean talent competition.  Prejudice is front and center in the story line.

A recent morning talk show did an interview with a young man who had lost an arm and a leg.  The hosts talked with him and his wife about their lives and their struggles.  It was a very frank and positive interview.

Soap operas have always been popular in Korea.  One now features an openly gay character.  He has a lot of struggles and (in my view) his character and story line need work, but it is a start.

There is a plethora of health and wellness material everywhere.  Food shows combine local culture and cuisine.  Talk shows feature body builders in their 80s and yoga instructors teaching the talk show hosts how to exercise properly.  Parks with plenty of outdoor exercise equipment are plentiful.

Being a foreigner is still an adventure in Korea.  There are lots of us now, but we are still a curiosity. I was asked by my hosts' church to give a talk on foreign missionaries.  That would not have been a stretch except that I had to do it in Korean (remember I was gone for. 37 years).  No sooner had I gotten past that than I learned that my hosts (members of Korea Home Stay) had been selected to be interviewed for a major TV network.  Needless to say their home stay guests were expected to be part of the interview.  I make my TV debut tomorrow morning.

I'm sure my remaining week will be equally exciting.  Stay tuned.

Kaesong and the Choco Pie economy

Kaesong is an industrial city that lies just north of the 38th parallel, presently part of North Korea. Since 2004 Kaesong has been the sight of an industrial complex where 123 South Korean companies produce a variety of goods.  The complex is a win-win proposition for both Koreas.  For South Korean companies there are about 53,000 North Korean employees who are well educated, skilled, speak Korean fluently, and provide cheap labor (about $110/month according to one source).  For North Korea the complex is a source of much needed foreign currency.

But let's step back in history.   Kaesong has not always been the industrial link between North and South Korea.  Way back in 919 it was the capital of all of Korea.  Jump ahead to 1950 and the start of the Korean War.  Kaesong was an entry point into South Korea during the initial invasion.  Five Methodist Missionaries and one German citizen were caught off guard in Kaesong and became part of what has been called "the long march" when they were captured by North Korea and became prisoners of war forced to walk for months through bitter cold winter and near starvation, to a prison camp in China.

Kaesong was the only Korean city to change sides.  Originally a South Korean city, it fell north of the 38th parallel division and was claimed by the north after the war.

Jump ahead again to 2011 when a new Kaesong issue developed.  South Korean companies were giving their workers Choco Pies during break time but not all companies gave workers the same number of the popular chocolate marshmallow cookie treat.  This caused an outcry.  Workers had developed the habit of selling at least some of their now famous Choco Pies on the North Korean black market, thereby boosting their family income.  The North Korean government considered Choco Pies a symbol of capitalism and attempted to have them banned from Kaesong.  Needless to say that was not a popular idea and the distribution of Choco Pies continued.

Fast forward to April 2013 when hostilities between the two Koreas resulted in the unilateral decision  by North Korea to close the industrial complex at Kaesong.  Despite six talks to resolve the issues, the industrial complex remains closed.  Imagine the consternation of the Kaesong workers at the collapse of their Choco Pie economy.  The North Korea government has had no choice but to separate the workers and send the to distant corners of the country where they cannot regroup (or so my sources tell me).

The future of the Kaesong industrial complex and the Choco Pie economy remain to be seen.  Meanwhile Choco Pie withdrawal has become a growing problem in the villages and towns just north of the 38th parallel.

Follow-up on Children Without a Nation

There is always more to the story.  North Korean orphans and abandoned children live a hard life, not that life in North Korea is easy for the average citizen, often trying to survive on the streets.  Most are malnourished and mistreated.  A few escape to China where life is not much easier.

One group was recently in the news.  The group had been staying in a foster home in China that housed up to 18 North Korean orphans.  In China they were in constant danger of being discovered and repatriated back to North Korea.  One of the group, a girl of 16 who looked like a grade school child due to her chronic malnutrition, had already been the victim of sex traffickers.

Nine of the children decided to leave for South Korea through Laos.  Their goal was to reach the U.S. embassy in Laos where they would be safe until they could enter South Korea.  They were under the impression that if they could only reach Laos they would be safe.  Unfortunately they were stopped at a check point.  The U.S. embassy was notified but under international law they had to be physically in the U.S. embassy to be considered under the protection of the U.S. government.

Things got worse.  Somehow they ended up being collected by the North Korean embassy instead of the South Korean embassy.  Back in North Korea they became a propaganda tool for the Kim regime.  At least for now, with all of the international press they have received, the children are safe.  They are too prominent to conveniently disappear into one of the many North Korean prison camps.

The 16 year-old girl who had already been trafficked decided not to leave China with the others.  She remains in foster care there.

This is only one of many stories from North Korea.  Another important group that is severely persecuted is the underground church in North Korea.  Christians are particularly persecuted because they are harder to subdue with fear tactics.  They are also harder to corrupt, making them a threat to a system that relies on a combination of fear and corruption to control all segments of society.

Author Peter Jung recently published his book called "Persecution" about the underground church of  North Korea.  The book is written in Korean, but is due to be translated into English soon.

Next blog on North Koea will address the "choco-pie" economy.  Stay tuned.  Also check out the website: NKnet.org for more on North Korea

Neglected History

What is the purpose of studying history?  That is the question that determines the content of the text.  Do we write history books as a template for teaching future generations, as an admonition against repeating the sins of the past, or as a platform for glorifying ourselves in the eyes of posterity?  Whatever the purpose, historians must pick and choose the content as human history is too expansive for a single text or even a single author of multiple texts.  Certain episodes in human history are bound to be either neglected or conveniently swept under the proverbial rug.

One such incident occurred on Jeju island.  Korean historians often refer to historical events by a significant date.  This one is referred to as the 4-3, or April 3rd, incident.  The incident did not really start on that date, and ended much later.

When Japan was defeated at the end of World War II the Japanese occupation of Korea ended only to be replaced by the joint occupation of the United States and the Soviet Union.  The two World War II allies were no longer friends so instead of cooperating to rebuild the Korean Peninsula, the two occupying forces divided the country.

Meanwhile in Jeju, there was unrest on several levels.  Returning soldiers who had been drafted by the Japanese army returned in droves to find no jobs.  There was overall resentment towards a new occupier that was too wrapped up in self-interests to deal with local concerns.  Finally, the people of Jeju were strongly opposed to the division of Korea.

Demonstrations resulted and on March 1, 1947 six Jeju residents were killed.  In response, the U.S. Military Administration sent in police and youth corps to suppress the uprising.  The brutality of  these agents towards the residents of Jeju continued but did not end the strikes.  On April 3, 1948 the Namdo party of Jeju rose up in protest against the continued targeting and torture of Jeju citizens.

Meanwhile, a presidential election was held that cemented the division of Korea.  Several Jeju districts abstained from the election in protest of the division of Korea.  Some Jeju citizens were actively involved in Athens a unification movement.  Others joined armed bands to actively resist the police and gang violence.

Martial law was declared on September 11 prior to which a military order was given that any person, regardless of age or gender, found in the middle area of Halla Mountai, located 5 km from the coastline, would be regarded as rebels and should be shot on sight.

Many villagers living in the area had no idea why they were being persecuted.  They fled to the caves in the mountains.  Many died when their villages were burned before they could flee.  Others were discovered in the caves and executed.  Others tried to get away by fleeing from the caves when the army approached, but they were often tracked by their footprints in the snow.  Others were captured and tortured only to be executed without a trial when the Korean War was declared on June 25, 1950.

Altogether the 4-3 incident lasted for seven years and seven months until September 21, 1954.  It is estimated that between 25,000 and 30,000 men, women, and children were slaughtered by order of the U. S. and South Korean military command for the crime of " opposing the general election and the formation of a South Korean state" and for demonstrating against oppression by police and military supported Northwest Youth Association.

The Jeju 4-3 Research Institute was established in 1989 to learn more about what happened during the seven years of persecution and systematic killing of Jeju citizens.

The film, JiSeul, depicting the 4-3 incident won the the Best Picture Award at the 2013 Sundance  film festival.  I haven't seen it yet, but it just moved to the top of my "must see" list.


Jeju is a small island crucially located half way between korea and Japan.  The location makes it crucial to Northeast Asian politics and defense policy, but the island people have always fought for peace.  They oppose the use of their island for military or political purposes.  They prefer to preserve the natural beauty of the island land and sea-scape while continuing to cherish their unique culture.

Gwangju Love Story (part two)

One night Miss Oh was sleeping in her apartment when the phone woke her.  It was Mr. Lee calling from Korea where he was doing some organizing.  Still half asleep she grabbed a pen and some paper to jot down the tasks she was sure he was about to assign her.  Instead he said, "will you marry me?"
She was still half asleep.  Was she hearing him right?  She asked him to repeat what he had said.

The couple lived in various parts of the United States, always working for democracy in Korea, until it was finally safe for them to return to Korea in 1994.  They lived in Gwangju, working for an NGO to keep the memory of the May 18 massacre alive and promoting justice and democracy.  There was still a lot of work to do.

Miss Oh lives alone now.  Mr. Lee died in 2011.  His grave is at the May 18 memorial site with the martyrs of the massacre and others who survived to continue their struggle.  Miss Oh visits his grave there.  She also hosts visitors who have a common cause.  She and a colleague want to start a school. Their school would be different from most schools that teach to the tests to enter prestigious universities.  Theirs would be a school to promote justice and train peace activists towards a more democratic world.  They are looking for seed money to make their dream a reality and to honor the memory of the freedom fighters of May 18.